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What Would Jesus See » Archive

Salt Of The Earth…I Mean, Heavens

A shrine has popped up by an expressway underpass in Chicago where people say salt stains on the concrete look like the Virgin Mary. Believers are flocking to the site even though the new Pope has made no public comment about it nor booked a flight yet.

POSTSCRIPT: On May 6th a man was arrested for scrawling the words “big lie” over the stain. Authorities then painted over the whole thing. R.I.P.

LATER THE SAME DAY: The Chicago Tribune reports that, like Jason, the image is back. “One or more people somehow began to remove the paint. It was not known how they did it, but by afternoon, the image was back largely intact and apparently with no sign of the graffiti that had marred it.”

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No Wonder Her Granddaughter Looks Like An Angel

An Ohio woman says if you turn an ultrasound picture of her granddaughter upside down you can see the face of Jesus. She’s had the picture hanging on the wall for four years but never noticed the image until she recently turned it over. Is she seeing Jesus or dollar signs on eBay?

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You Saw It Here First!


We got an email today that reads (sic): “my name is joseph polak i have in my posetion a door 30 in, by 80 in of jesus christ in the wood here are some pictures to show you what i mean. please give me some info on how to sell this door or where i can sell it please.” Here are the photos. You be the judge.

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Giving Satan Equal Time

Lucky the turtle was the only animal to survive a pet store fire in Indiana. Store owner Bryan Dora says that, as a result, the image of Satan appeared on the turtle’s shell, complete with goatee and pointy horns. Amazingly, he’s produced a DVD of the turtle’s story and plans to auction it — and Lucky — online. So far the closest thing on eBay is a “Turtle Towel Personalized Dora Print,” perfect for drying off possessed reptiles. At left is a non-artist’s rendering of what we imagine Lucky’s shell looks like. After the DVD release we’ll find out for sure.

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Salty Salvation

A mother and daughter in Nebraska are selling a Rold Gold Honey Mustard Pretzel on eBay that they say looks like the Virgin Mary holding baby Jesus. They hope to get $1,000 so the daughter can buy a horse. (Advice: Stop squinting so much. It’s a pretzel. One that sort of looks like a treble clef.)

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The Shroud of Teflon

First there was the grilled cheese sandwich with the image of the Virgin Mary burned into it that sold for $28,000 on eBay. Now a man in Prairie Lea, TX has a frying pan with Jesus’ face staring up from the bottom. He hasn’t decided what to do with it yet, but if GoldenPalace.com, the online casino that bought the grilled Mary sandwich, has any sense at all they’ll buy the frying pan and cook up one hell–I mean, heck–of a last supper.

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