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What Would Jesus See » Archive

Corpus Crispi

Rosalie Lawson of St. Petersburg, FL was happy when she came across a buy-one, get-one-free deal on Lay’s sour cream and onion potato chips a couple of weeks ago, but even happier when she stopped putting one of the chips in her mouth because she saw the image of Jesus Christ on it. “I don’t know if we’re going to try and sell it or what yet,” she says. Meanwhile, the St. Petersburg Times is holding an online poll about the chip. At the moment, 15% of the voters think the chip looks like Jesus, 34% think it looks like Red Sox centerfielder Johnny Damon, and 51% think it looks like the late Jerry Garcia.

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A Heavenly Color of Semi-Gloss

Two Detroit women were painting their house in preparation of moving when they noticed that the red paint wouldn’t cover two areas of primer on a kitchen wall. When the areas dried they noticed that they looked like faces. They managed to paint over one, which they say looked like a pharaoh. The other refused to be painted over and they realized it looks like Jesus. The real mystery is why they were painting their kitchen red.

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How Much Is That Jesus In The Window?

Hundreds of people are flocking to an apartment complex in Fort Worth, TX, to see the face of Jesus in a window. One woman who has been blind for years says she is seeing things for the first time, meaning her hand, her husband’s hand, and even her granddaughter. Another woman says she can walk better now. Transportation costs to the apartment are not covered by most HMOs and cannot be deducted as a medical expense on your taxes. Check with your accountant to be certain.

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Rockin’ Whoever

A woman in Cameron, Illinois who collects rocks has one that amazingly was split when she found it by a local creek. Some friends say a design on it looks like the Virgin Mary. Others think it looks like Jesus. One thinks it looks like a “cherub angel,” which is, well, redundant.

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Another Shell Game

A woman in Winston-Salem, NC has a seashell she says has an image of Jesus on it. So of course she’s selling it on eBay. Actually she’s selling “a small wooden curio cabinet approximately 7” x 10” x 2” filled with various types of beans and a simple sea shell in the middle.” In case you’re not certain why a Jesus seashell is better than a grilled cheese sandwich, she explains: “Please note this item is not grilled cheese, it won’t rot, decompose or shrivel up and wither away; it is an actual sea shell you will be able to cherish forever.” As DeBeers used to say, “Seashells are forever.”

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I Knew I Felt A Stirring In My Chest

A woman in Florida has a mammogram which she says shows an image of Jesus Christ. In her words:

“I went in for a regular mammogram screening where several x-rays were taken. The doctor thought he had seen something unusual and called me back one week later. On this second visit, only one image was taken of the area of concern. As soon as the film showed up on the screen, the image of Jesus Christ was clearly visible. The technician and I were astonished and immediately felt a pleasant presence. Needless to say, I was blessed to find that all was well and I am in good health.”

And that there’s an outlet to sell it on eBay.

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