What Would Jesus See » Author Archive
You Saw It Here First!
We got an email today that reads (sic): “my name is joseph polak i have in my posetion a door 30 in, by 80 in of jesus christ in the wood here are some pictures to show you what i mean. please give me some info on how to sell this door or where i can sell it please.” Here are the photos. You be the judge.
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Giving Satan Equal Time
Lucky the turtle was the only animal to survive a pet store fire in Indiana. Store owner Bryan Dora says that, as a result, the image of Satan appeared on the turtle’s shell, complete with goatee and pointy horns. Amazingly, he’s produced a DVD of the turtle’s story and plans to auction it — and Lucky — online. So far the closest thing on eBay is a “Turtle Towel Personalized Dora Print,” perfect for drying off possessed reptiles. At left is a non-artist’s rendering of what we imagine Lucky’s shell looks like. After the DVD release we’ll find out for sure.
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Salty Salvation
A mother and daughter in Nebraska are selling a Rold Gold Honey Mustard Pretzel on eBay that they say looks like the Virgin Mary holding baby Jesus. They hope to get $1,000 so the daughter can buy a horse. (Advice: Stop squinting so much. It’s a pretzel. One that sort of looks like a treble clef.)
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The Shroud of Teflon
First there was the grilled cheese sandwich with the image of the Virgin Mary burned into it that sold for $28,000 on eBay. Now a man in Prairie Lea, TX has a frying pan with Jesus’ face staring up from the bottom. He hasn’t decided what to do with it yet, but if GoldenPalace.com, the online casino that bought the grilled Mary sandwich, has any sense at all they’ll buy the frying pan and cook up one hell–I mean, heck–of a last supper.
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Cheesy Souvenirs
Goldenpalace.com, an Internet casino, paid $28,000 for a grilled cheese sandwich with a burned image of the Virgin Mary on it. Diane Duyser held onto it for 10 years and says she won $70,000 at a casino thanks to the sandwich. She figured it was time to take a loss on it by selling it for less than her potential future winnings because, well, she must need the tax write-off.
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